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Standing Here With You

I love talking to you
It makes me feel complete
You say that you love me
And my heart just beats,
I know that your here
And I know that you care
Man I just love
Standing here with you
Your hand in mine
It always makes me
Feel better
Stay forever
Lay with me.
And I just wish that I could
Be laying here
Staying here
Standing here with you
Forever.

Written by EmO_PrInCeSs

(Falling_To_Pieces)

Published 4th Dec 2012

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The author encourages honest critique.

Re: Standing Here With You

Anonymous

4th Dec 2012 7:36pm

"Your" in L5 should be "you're". The poem is very vague, which in my opinion doesn't work when you imply a specific narrative, as you do here by alluding to characters (the narrator and "you"). I think it needs a lot more detail. Who is the narrator? How did she meet her beloved? etc. All critique is JMHO. Thanks for the read.