deepundergroundpoetry.com
unholy prayer ii
the lord is my enemy I want his head
he brought me doubt and a bullshit line for 25 years
I will drown him in the waters
my soul will rise above his own
there is no such thing as righteousness he lied to us
we are all selfish
the lord was the first cynic
who laid out a line for us to get hooked on
the shadow of death has become my concubine
and I do not fear evil
but it is not by his hands
that I have overcome these things
it is I have taken them under my wing
I have left you in the river to drown
I beat you with your own rod
so that consciousness could not reason with you to swim
you were smoke and mirrors
dressed in shepard's clothing
he brought me doubt and a bullshit line for 25 years
I will drown him in the waters
my soul will rise above his own
there is no such thing as righteousness he lied to us
we are all selfish
the lord was the first cynic
who laid out a line for us to get hooked on
the shadow of death has become my concubine
and I do not fear evil
but it is not by his hands
that I have overcome these things
it is I have taken them under my wing
I have left you in the river to drown
I beat you with your own rod
so that consciousness could not reason with you to swim
you were smoke and mirrors
dressed in shepard's clothing
Published 2nd Jul 2010
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reading list entries 3
comments 16
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Anonymous
2nd Jul 2010 2:36am
Incredibly evocative poem, bristling with images which come alive as they're read. I was really impressed by the one about drowning the lord in the river, how he was the first cynic, and also "the shadow of death has become my concubine." Amazing stuff.
2nd Jul 2010 2:50am
thanks jack.. oh if jesus were real i def would have beaten him with his own rod and thrown him in the river to drown.. or just be another in the crowd routing on his death on the cross :D
2nd Jul 2010 10:12am
In this context, I will urge you to read my composition "doomsday", and I think that I can closely connect the furiousness of the narrator to mine one...as if you have spoken ma words...a brilliant piece...take car.
2nd Jul 2010 11:28am
i did read and comment on your poem.. i do see the ferociousness of narration comparing our too pieces.. thanks for the read and take care too :D
4th Jul 2010 10:10pm
once again im fascinated by your vivid writing . the last metaphor about the shepard's clothing was outstanding!
5th Jul 2010 2:22am
aw thanks.. yeah that was a pretty interesting play on words.. but i still dont know if id put these unholy prayers in a book theyre just experiments..
5th Jul 2010 6:03am
5th Jul 2010 6:35am
ive gotten a lot of positive feedback on these two poems and i don't really like them.. weird.. thanks for the support
16th Jul 2010 9:30am
16th Jul 2010 5:27pm
24th Jul 2010 10:38am
24th Jul 2010 11:23am
yeh though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i will swallow it.. thanks for the compliment! cheers!
10th Aug 2011 3:11am
This is beyond incredible. It's so powerful and, well, brutal. "The shadow of death has become my concubine," hook, line, and sinker! That line really grabbed my attention. Well done.
10th Aug 2011 4:21pm
heh. glad you dig it so much. just another exercise in messing with old cliches or sayings. i like doing that having my way with words as always making even others words mine..in this case a bible verse. i think its in psalms. lords prayer or whatever. but yeah heh check out these http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/3992/
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/4012/
not plays on words and not brutal but some prayer themes cheers!
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/4012/
not plays on words and not brutal but some prayer themes cheers!
17th Feb 2013 6:19pm
18th Feb 2013 8:07pm
