Sex with a Friend

Time for a smoke  
and then breakfast,  
after being  
all night  
in the grips  
of our needs,  
she saunters  
only  
mildly happy  
with herself  
overlooking  
my sleeping  
familiarity.  
 
Her practicing  
each and every turn  
of her head,  
the study  
and casual glance  
of one  
who has learned  
the art of seduction.    
 
The fold  
of her hand,  
her dress,  
her napkin,  
her tapping her cigarette  
with just the right rhythm  
and force  
to cause an attraction  
and begin the heart heat  
that plows  
through the barriers  
of trade and consumption.  
 
With her French nail tips  
she tweezers a flake  
of tobacco  
out of her mouth,  
blows out her inhalation  
and pushes back her hair  
as she shuffles off  
to the kitchen  
to rustle a cup.  
 
I wake  
and find her  
staring  
out of the western window,  
house shoes on  
and propped up  
in another kitchen chair;  
I shyly ask her  
if she wants  
to come back to bed.  
 
Even I  
find it difficult  
not to be  
entangled and seduced  
taken in and abused  
and used for my resources,  
co-dependently condemning  
my own use and abuse,  
a mutual knowing  
of childhood friends  
indelicate  
who have played out  
for me  
a drama of wicked  
self-torture.  
 
Meeting this way  
for years  
and now decades  
since childhood  
and the distance  
of her living  
my needing  
her knowing  
and her living as is,  
my fighting jealousy.  
 
Her own past speaking  
through her  
a litany  
of trespasses  
and now it's a pattern,  
so normally painful,  
and her understanding  
that time  
is not her lover.  
 
"I've got a couple of things  
to do this morning;  
call me  
later in the day, say  
around 4:00,  
and you can ask me  
out to dinner."  
 
She had always had  
this off-putting demeanor,  
busy enough  
but not on my time.  
 
She looked outwardly  
unlonging,  
waiting for me to leave:  
blue house coat opened  
to her bright naked hips,  
her laced bra  
unclasped in the back,  
and an unmistakable  
lack of smiling  
as she overstates  
the obvious with her eyes,  
non-disclosingly  
inferring  
that her 10:00  
was arriving in a few minutes  
and I needed to be gone  
so that that awkward  
exchange didn't occur  
as it had,  
the look  
the glaring,  
and the questions  
unanswered  
over dinner.  
 
"Okay then,  
at 4:00."  
 
runningturtle87