unholy prayer i

The very last line is a gem, in the context of what precedes it. A clever perversion of the Lord's Prayer, though I think I prefer the sequel, strangely enough. This is good, but "unholy prayer ii" was a fucking masterpiece.

yeah the last line was ok but ive used that image of having my hand on someones throat before so it doesnt entice me much.. actually i dont like either poem just publishing them as experiments in messing with the lords prayer and psalms 23

The poem itself starts with a punch..."my enemy who lurks in heaven", and then, the best part I enjoyed is "your will has been taken from you on earth..."...and the rest I agree with Jack:-)

thanks for the read and compliments.. i try to pack a punch.. even when it is just an experiment.. glad you dig the piece.. cheers!

god is not your enemy. enemy is yourself you don't know!

only if you believe in him :P

i kid you not, i've been trying to come up with a piece that uses the rhythm of that prayer. you are too fuckin good, my friend. its excellent. i'm gonna try to come up with something anyway. good work

bastard? lol thanks.. and good luck with your version!

By acknowledging His "kingdom, power and glory" you give Him credence, showing your necessity to believe in Him existentially.

well i was just using a play on words on the lords prayer so i had to add some familiar lines.. i dont believe in the christian God anymore.. i was a christian for 25 years.. and then it took me 2 years to dechristianize myself.. so no i dont believe in the christian God.. im agnostic i believe theres something bigger than ourselves or something weird going on under the surface of things i just dont know what that is or they are

"and then it took me 2 years to dechristianize myself.. "
 
I like that sentence
 
sorry to bud in  
 
Ron...

it's good to be free