That Fucking bed

Fuck its that  time to go to bed
so i  drink coffee smoke fags instead
cause im scared
will i have them nightmares again
who will wake me up
no one
i will have to do it alone
its so scary im crying
feel like dying
as the thought of doing this again
i dont think i can cope
the bedroom is a scary place  i dont want to go in alone
how can i push myself in there to sleep  when i l know what happens next

please help me someone
the fag aint even strong enough im dragging the hell out of it
but it seems as soon as i lit it
its at the end and i start again
smoke smoke smoke drink coffe at this time
i know these make it worse wanna punish myself
i have no one else

i wonder fucking why.
i feel like getting a fucking rope
im stamping my feet anger is swelling
my body is crawling
its fucking gruelling

and all to go to work......
my poor dog now is looking at me, hates to see me sad
she shivers looks up and down and that makes me feel bad
why give me these nightmartes take me off these pills i can see no end

28 days you said!

i want to smach this fucking computer
and sit  and fucking die
cause i know i only have you
im 50 years old feel but feel like 7
i wish i was in fucking in heaven

im weak im shit im stuped im a cunt
i hate myself for being weak
why do i need someone
to hold me tight
tell me it will be alright

well it really doesnt matter
causes its just me
FUCK just help me ..........
please

i want to smoke a joint have a drink
but i cant
cant even fuck
my life is in a rut
oh fuck it my fags gone out again
i think im just staying on here
so i dont have to go in there
the bedroom altough ive put on a low light
doesnt really matter
dont make no difference
if only i could drink!!!!!!!!!!!!
smash the house
scream shout
someone let me out of this body i want out.
a joint, an E to block out me.
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i dont care about comments say what you wish
its not your nightmare