deepundergroundpoetry.com
date night
my back curves, my neck falls
Away from the torrent of dull spearheads thudding-a-drumbeat
I know it is a rain-dance. They fall on my chest. They might as well be
Pure acid pouring down for all the difference I care.
I call the invocation:
“take me take me have my life my soul my body or all three
If it makes up the numbers” but nobody hears me over the crashing
Of wasted water. This is not about me.
In the shower-fogged glass I paint on my mask.
I’ve got the colours wrong. the Joker never wore
Pastel lipstick.
If only life were like movies. You get a gun
Shoot everyone down & then Cut! They get up no harm done
No hard feelings. you can kill them over and again.
I am one of the disfigured.
Life teaches us that a scarred face is a scarred soul
A scarred wrist is a liar’s ‘get out of jail free’ card.
I am one of the liars. I am going to meet God,
But not by the bullet train.
I’d like to make the right impression.
Away from the torrent of dull spearheads thudding-a-drumbeat
I know it is a rain-dance. They fall on my chest. They might as well be
Pure acid pouring down for all the difference I care.
I call the invocation:
“take me take me have my life my soul my body or all three
If it makes up the numbers” but nobody hears me over the crashing
Of wasted water. This is not about me.
In the shower-fogged glass I paint on my mask.
I’ve got the colours wrong. the Joker never wore
Pastel lipstick.
If only life were like movies. You get a gun
Shoot everyone down & then Cut! They get up no harm done
No hard feelings. you can kill them over and again.
I am one of the disfigured.
Life teaches us that a scarred face is a scarred soul
A scarred wrist is a liar’s ‘get out of jail free’ card.
I am one of the liars. I am going to meet God,
But not by the bullet train.
I’d like to make the right impression.
Published 7th Nov 2012
| Edited 18th Nov 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 8
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The author encourages honest critique.
what a wonderful read this was.
"I’ve got the colours wrong. the Joker never wore
Pastel lipstick."
was a highlight for me.
I am also very affectionate of the wonderful choice of ending those last three lines are classic and witty, yet not overly selfish. wonderful.
I wasn't sure, why you had a mix of starting off in lowercase and then using uppercase for each line start even when part of a previous sentence. but ignore that, I'm sure you have your reasons.
;]
Good on you, for this one.
Al
[.]
"I’ve got the colours wrong. the Joker never wore
Pastel lipstick."
was a highlight for me.
I am also very affectionate of the wonderful choice of ending those last three lines are classic and witty, yet not overly selfish. wonderful.
I wasn't sure, why you had a mix of starting off in lowercase and then using uppercase for each line start even when part of a previous sentence. but ignore that, I'm sure you have your reasons.
;]
Good on you, for this one.
Al
[.]
7th Nov 2012 1:49pm
Reason's got nothing to do with it, but thanks, Al, glad a clown like yourself found some value in it. ;)
7th Nov 2012 5:31pm
Always intrigued to see what spills out of you.
The agnostic in me really loves the ending of this. The scene setting at the beginning with the imagery of the physical form to the imagery of the rain was fantastic.
I think you meant "thudding as a drumbeat", and if you didn't, you should of. :P
Cool poem, wing.
The agnostic in me really loves the ending of this. The scene setting at the beginning with the imagery of the physical form to the imagery of the rain was fantastic.
I think you meant "thudding as a drumbeat", and if you didn't, you should of. :P
Cool poem, wing.
7th Nov 2012 7:04pm
as a drumbeat, with a drumbeat, the difference is metaphorical. And in act-u-ality, i meant for it to be a shower ;) see if i can't clear up that misunderstanding
7th Nov 2012 7:27pm
7th Nov 2012 5:47pm
8th Nov 2012 3:44pm
The thoughts that whirl around one's head in preparation for a night out... nice capture.
22nd Nov 2012 2:28am
a scarred wrist is exactly a liars get out of jail free card........i'd like to make the right impression as well. wow
