Reality Of A Nightmare...

Screaming, I awake again from sleep.
Realizing it was only just a dream.
One that my mind will always keep.
Things aren't always what they seem.

Sweat and tears run down my face,
From the disturbing reunion just moments before.
Breathing is at a fast pace,
I can't take this anymore...

Flopping backwards on the bed,
Struggling not to cry.
I think I've had this dream before,
The one where you always die.

Your hand in mine,
I'll always feel.
It's just a dream now,
But once before... it was real.

I miss you more everyday.
Searing depression sets in.
I think of the quickest way,
To never wake up again.

My throat constricts around my breaths.
The familiar feeling, I'm about to cry.
The memory of your death...
Now I too, want to die.

As I hold the gun in my hands,
You're sitting beside me.
I place the barrel under my chin.
With you I'll spend eternity.

You kiss my forehead and back away.
I reach out for you,
but my hand passes through.
Please don't go away.
You're not even real,
but I need you.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
And one last time...
Think of your death.

I whisper my goodbyes,
And pray to God to forgive me.
Apologize for all my lies,
And all my deceiving.

I pull the trigger...