Getting Ready For Disappointment

The snitch box
aka the phone
I went through his
look and you shall find
 
there it was
the pain
the sadness
the anger
 
I found her number, did reverse look up
got her address, map quested it
then I went to get ready
assuming I was on my way to meet a super model
 
I did my hair
it was perfect
I did my make-up
smokey eyes
 
I searched my closet
for the perfect outfit  
black skin tight mini dress
thigh high boots
 
you would have thought  
I was going somewhere spectacular
not to meet my husbands mistress
I put lipstick on and blew myself a kiss
 
once in my car
I began to shake
my teeth were chattering
my leg was bouncing up and down
I could barley drive
 
speeding down the freeway
trying not to tear up
not wanting to mess up my make-up
I was flooded with insane thoughts
 
my leg was hilarious  
I can only describe it as toilet knee
it wouldn't stop
through the pain, that made me smile
 
I get to her house
and sure as shit
his car is there
in her driveway  
 
I sat in my car thinking
and watching, waiting
I couldn't take it anymore
I pulled behind his car and honked my horn
 
I saw people looking through the blinds
I honked again, nothing
I'm sure he was shitting his pants
I kept honking like a madman  
 
nothing
my anger was beginning to boil  
so I reversed my car as far as I could
and I floored that bitch into the back of his  
 
I swear I must have smashed into his car
like 8 times before he came running out
I leaped from my vehicle
his face I will never forget  
 
I pushed past him
I had to see this woman
the woman who was more important
than his wife
 
the woman who made my husband stay out late
the one he was sending the I love you texts to
I made my way to her side door
 
their she stood
all 300 pounds of her
in a purple champion jogging suit
standing next to her, a fat golden retriever
 
okay, I just took 3 hours to get ready
for this????
Its cliche  
but I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
 
I stood there staring at her for what seemed like forever
then I moved my focus to him
I just started punching,smacking and kicking
I even did some ninja moves I didn't know I knew
 
I remember screaming "a fat bitch?"
over and over again
he was begging me to leave
she was saying she called the cops
 
I laughed at that
I told her "bring the fuzz
I needed corroborating witnesses  
who's gonna believe he cheated with Barney"  
 
a lot of words exchanged
through the tears came the laughter
I slipped in those fucking boots
ended up limping away from the atrocity  
 
I got in my car and headed to the bar
ordered a double shot  
slammed it and cried my eyes out
I hated her I hated him
 
Once I was drunk enough I called a cab
he never even came home that night
I stayed up plotting his demise
when he did come home
 
I was waiting behind the front door
with a baseball bat,
that in itself is another tale
what I learned from this,
 
a cheating mans wife is like a disguise  
a mask worn in public
don't judge him upon viewing her
or his day life
 
judge him on his mistress
the one he holds in the dark
the one he chances losing everything for
yes, I believe you can tell a lot about a man by his mistress
 
I really thought he would be sleeping with a model
I sure that makes me shallow somehow, she was ordinary
nothing special, I think that bugged me the most
it reflected something about me, something I lacked inside
 
or thought I did
It took me awhile to get over it, but eventually I did
started a beautiful flower garden , kinda had to
didn't want anyone asking about the mound of dirt in my backyard