The Word and Verse                                                   Nov - 2012 -P-1

The word and verse is an independent publication put together
by members of DU for the purposes of entertainment and is in no
way intended to offend or cause outbursts of suicide.      -Nov 2012-

From the news desk


Hell freezes over

Well folks, it's finally happened. there is a poet who's broke. If news about this leaks out of the underground, the results could be catastrophic when it reaches the arts world.
Artists, and to a bigger degree, poets, have been so used to the luxury bestowed upon them since the beginning of time, the news will surely bring mass panic and food hoarding.

Donations or any non perishable foods can be sent to, Prince JJ Momar *click click* Gomez, Nigeria.

(Please note,you may be asked for a bank account number... this is totally legit.)
 
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Pro-files

The Webmiss is said to be distraught from reading a certain thread about multi profiles. Yes, it would seem that although the countometer displays total membership of 10,000 people, the truth of it all is, we're somewhere between 40 and 50 actual members. Word "on the street" has it that Falco alone has up to 1200 profiles going, ranging from an annoying male to a more annoying female.

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Pic me

Poor li'l Danni keeps finding herself in a bit of a pickle. Not too long ago she was reeling from the news of a bun in the oven,
and wondered if there was just something in the air that kept causing problems.

yeah Danni, we reckon it could be your legs.

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Flower power

Congrats are in order for Violet who recently gave birth to a  beautiful baby Rose. Now this muggle cant help wonder what crossed a violet to make a rose. Answers on the back of a postcard please, and post it to your own address. If your answer is still the same when the postman brings it back to you, then you're probably wrong.  


-SR
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Art Attack


Hello and welcome to Art Attack, the section in which I prattle on about some form of culture then ask for your opinions to make me seem less self-centered than we all know I am. This week it's science fiction cinema, so I'll be reviewing two classics of the genre, The Matrix and the Star Wars franchise. Please feel free to leave your opinions/feedback/hate mail below, and let the Schwartz be with you.

The Matrix

The Matrix has a strong story and rich visuals, but almost destroys them with a corny climax. The film's problem is that its characters are shallow constructions whose actions serve only to push the film towards that climax, which relies on a love story hardly explained or developed until then.

It's one of those Hollywood deux ex machinas where, to quote The Beatles, all you need is love, a nice sentiment, but worthless outside four minute pop songs.

The plot, however, is undeniably brilliant, even if it does recycle old philosophical ideas, and The Matrix's best scenes are its talkiest. There's a wonderful dialogue between Neo (Keanu Reeves) and an oracle (Gloria Foster) which is perfectly written.

Neo is a lonely hacker who's never felt at home; this feeling is explained when a band of rebels free his mind to the horrible truth: "reality" as he knows it is a virtual construct (or the matrix) created by machines who dupe humans so they can breed them and harvest their energy.

Neo is the chosen one, destined to lead a resistance against the matrix. The rebels are led by Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), and include Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss), Switch (Belinda McClory) and Cypher (Joe Pantoliano).

It's my belief that Fishburne and to a lesser extent Foster hold The Matrix together. Fishburne, like Yoda, is a wise, tough, sympathetic sage. If the film was more groundbreaking it might have dispensed with Neo and made him the hero.

Why are these great men always maligned in favour of farm boys and nerds? I guess because the audience needs a surrogate, and sages don't fit that bill. We also need a way in to the fictional world, I think, so as a liberated innocent Neo evokes confusion and awe, which we can identify with.

Foster is also great, leaving a profound impression even though she has just one scene. Like Morpheus she's wise and slow-moving, her every line laced with subtle depths. And even though his acting's become famous for its woodeness, Reeves does a good job here. He's best when playing straightforward heroes, like a Stallone or Schwarzenegger, and he's appropriately stoic as Neo.

If the character was more complex it might have stretched him too far. Because mainstream films need a recognisable antagonist the matrix is personified by Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) a program designed to hunt freed humans. He has a wonderfully unsettling scene with Morpheus where he reveals some ambitions of his own. Morpheus' crew aren't really developed; Cypher is a telling name in more ways than one, as they're all just ciphers who show up when needed or die.

The action is of course balletically choreographed and there's stunning special effects. The Matrix holds up just as a visual experience. Despite its flaws it also was and is a promisingly smart blockbuster.

Star Wars

Original trilogy

The great appeal of Star Wars is slightly mysterious. There are times when it's clumsily written (Obi-Wan's explanation, in Return of the Jedi, for why he said Vader killed Luke's father is my favourite example: "So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view") and though I needed others to point them out there are some big plot holes (why does Vader connect with Luke through the Force, but not Leia?).

What makes Star Wars special, however, is the beauty of its storytelling. Say what you like about George Lucas, he created his own rich, developed world, populated by aliens and characters who've become timeless. These stories, perfectly crafted and paced, awaken our sense of adventure.

The Death Star, the Force, lightsabers, Jedi Knights and other features of this world are simple concepts which enchant the imagination. Whenever I watch these films I'm left in awe of them. They're visual masterpieces, which fully realise many different species and places, but they're also terrific stories that explore classic themes, like love, hate, death, friendship and betrayal.

People often regard The Empire Strikes Back as the strongest of these films, and Return of the Jedi as the weakest. I don't really understand this differentiation between episodes. In my opinion they're all about as good as each other and tell the same story, just from different stages. (Disregarding the prequels) A New Hope is the setup, Empire the middle and Jedi the climax.

Aside from one, I have no problems with the changes Lucas has made to these films. I don't care that Greedo now shoots first, for instance. I understand why Lucas wanted to soften Han's character, and even if Greedo hadn't shot first he would have if given the chance, leaving Han no choice but to defend himself. Either way, Greedo wanted to kill Han so Han killed him before he could. Han still walks away with blood on his hands, which should please those who miss the original scene.

The only change I dislike is the replacement, in Return of the Jedi's last shot, of Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. It's just wrong, and badly scars what is otherwise a perfect film. When Anakin joins Yoda and Obi-Wan to appear to Luke from the afterlife, he should be an old man, not just for consistency but because it's more poignant.

Vader's finally transcended his mask and is at peace. Also, as if the replacement itself wasn't bad enough, Hayden's expression is wrong. He looks cocky, like a college kid making sex eyes at a girl across the room, not a father gazing benevolently at his son. That said, Star Wars Episodes IV through VI are masterpieces, and not even a mangled final shot can destroy them.

Prequels

People complain a lot about the Star Wars prequels' dialogue, and though some of it is bad it's not much better or worse than the originals', which could also clunk. I think the difference is that the prequel characters talk in this pseudo-Shakespearean dialect which doesn't really work, because Lucas doesn't have Shakespeare's rhythms and structures.

For me the movies' biggest problems are tone and acting. The original stories were great because they were fast-paced fantasy adventures filled with heroism and alien sights. The new films, and this does actually show in the dialogue, seem to think they're great operas. Lucas tries to reach beyond sci-fi into Hamlet territory, and it just doesn't work.

If he'd been content to tell good stories he could have made some worthy prequels, but he comes across as almost snobby, like he's now too good for pulp sci-fi and has a "message" to share. These films take themselves so seriously that they're depressing when they're not laughable. As a result they're drenched in psuedo-seriousness, especially two and three, which leads them away from Hamlet towards Ed Wood.

The melodramatic lines, scenery chewing, misplaced faith in your vision... These films are Plan 9 from Outer Space with a budget.
Well, maybe that's a bit harsh. They're far from the worst of all time, but they are unforgivably disappointing and cheesey, which leads me to the acting.

There's a lot of good actors in the prequels - Sir Christopher Lee, Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, Natalie Portman - who are crushed beneath Lucas' pretension. However, there's also actors who are just bad, and no amount of charitability can hide that. I'm talking, of course, about Hayden Christensen. He may be a nice guy in real life, but if you think Christian Bale overdid his Batman voice you should see Christensen try to convey a tortured soul.

His transition to darkness is marked by a perpetual pout which makes you wonder if he even enjoyed getting Portman pregnant. He looks like a kid who's just been told that his daddy has to work today so his friends can't come over. Mark Hamill's Luke Skywalker wasn't always the brightest lightsaber, but he was a convincing farm boy and had a young man's arrogant naievete, which made him likeable.

Christensen comes across as irritatingly petulant. When he cradles his mother's body he looks not like a bereaved son but a spoilt brat ("now who's going to wash my Spidey pyjamas?")
Ian McDiarmid, on the other hand, is a fine actor, but he really hams it up as Emperor Palpatine.

His acting in the original films isn't known for its nuances, but here he's a few shades away from the wicked stepmother. As soon as his skin shrivels up, which marks his outing as the dark side's leader, he loses all sense of grace and becomes an Emperor parody. He makes Gollum look as subtle as King Claudius. "Graceless" is actually a good word for these prequels.

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So what are your views? Am I wrong about the prequels? Are they really masterpieces filled with Olivier-class acting and storylines to make Sophocles hard? Are the originals overrated melodramas? How much did you all want to bone Carrie-Anne Moss and/or Keanu Reeves? Am I a dickless asshat, or (as my mum and I suspect) a lovely and profound intellectual? Please leave a comment below.

Your droog,
Heslopian


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This edition, in recognition of the new Poem Charts, we speak to Mr A, who has spent a number of weeks at the top spot.

the Poem Pop Charts can be viewed here:

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/all-poems/sort/popular-poems/



MrAlptraum, are you aware that you've spent the last 20 odd days at the top of the DU charts?

- It was brought to my attention not so long ago by a certain Irishman who came to me demanding I delete my poem so he could steal the crown. I'll mention no names.  

How does that make you feel?

- Well, my balls definitely feel a milligram heavier.

Now that you are aware, will you check, and if you do, how often will you check to see where your latest write stands?
 
- I don't have much of an ego so probably just twice a day, haha. Honestly; not often. Most poems don't get over forty reads in a month so it would be stupid and, as I said, not much of an ego here.

Who do you see as your main competitors for the spot?
 
- I noticed some ridiculous poetry up at the top so I'm not threatened by quality, but more popularity. Someone who swaggers with both would be the lepprechaun, of course. Hemi's no stranger up there either. So yeah, those two old men.  

There's been talk of wagers being made about who will be number 1 for Christmas. Have you made any wagers?

- No official wagers. More threats really.

You seem to spend odd hours writing and whatnot on DU, do you have a sleep disorder?

- That's just not true, but the days are far too bright to bleed.

What is your position on forum threads, you don't seem to contribute much?

- My position? Humanity in large numbers behaves the same wherever it swells. Without offending anyone, it's full of kids and whimpering attention magnets.

And finally, has DU made any kind of impact on your existence?
  
- Strange question, but I believe not, but poetry itself has in ways I daren't even try and explain.


Thanks for your time Mr A.
 
- No, thank you.

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Well you heard it first right here folks. As of 10;00 am central time the top ten looks like this :

at 10 - Magdelena is unfolding right before you (no folks, we had them same thoughts but alas there was no striptease) at 9 - Miss Sub is contemplating beauty (she obviously saw our two mugglettes experimenting in the quiet room.)

at 8 - Always Calliban has a Tender Blossom (we're not sure how old Always is so we'll move swiftly on) at 7 - Word Slut has a word fetish (it's all becoming too clear now, god only knows what goes on when the scrabble board come out.)

At 6 - Nikkimoe wants us to Look inside because sometimes it's there (great advice Nikki, don't forget the all important "if it's not, it'll be in the last place you look). At 5 - Heslopian writes about The Tragedian's Regret (oh, Jack! Always with the comedy and general spiffing humor)! At 4 - Gigi talks about Amy (again, not what you might think folks, no girl on girl and unless you got a urine fetish...)

At 3 - Joker thanks you and waves goodbye (we've tried to contact the Joker but we're having trouble trying to translate the letters she pointed to). At 2 - Panama Judas does not feel the need to do it ( but you just go right ahead and keep doing it anyway, Jamie).

In our top spot, is our very own lepperochan, who finally went to his doctor to get a prescription for the rash that's been plaguing him since his magical night at Jack's.

Well, that's the way it looks this time around folks, 'til next time, be good. And if you can't be good, then just be.

-SR