Resting Inside Silence

Here we are
Resting inside the silence
Enchantment by blackness
Here I am
Trying so to light a candle
To look inside your eyes, but you blew it out.

Trying so hard to form a word
When I'm twitching inside uncertainty
I feel like I've lost you, drowning inside the mute button
I'm blindly pressing wildly into the air
Just pleading you will say something
Silently, like my lips are stitched together
Like I'm a fucking mime drowning inside an inch of water
That isn’t there
Maybe I'm not here
Instead crawling underground
Hearing thousands of other voices
Each one telling their answers, while mine is filtered away.

All I know now
Is that I would rip myself to pieces
If it made you smile, if it made you say a word
Your sad face is killing me
I would rip myself to pieces with a fucking butter knife at this point
Because without you I am nothing anyway.

So can you open to me?
I know you are going crazy, as am I
Without being able to say a word
I am standing right here
Please talk to me
Please relieve yourself and me.

I used to be the one you could talk to no matter
Why am I now the stranger?
I want to be the important one again
I just want you to be happy.
It’s all I ever wanted
Why is this damn hard?


2012