This Is

Somewhere, some night
you lean by the bar
talking at length of life
the universe
and how much you love her

I am there
and this is inconsequential

You hold a glass half full
of two types of poison
and the stance of a man
who knows too much
while knowing nothing at all 

I move closer
and this is imperceptible

Smoke licks from the bright burning tip
of your dwindling cigarette
then catches in my hair
like a lover's hands
and rakes its fingers through

I cough
and this is unintentional

Months ago 
those fingers were your fingers
smoke curled out the window
and your kiss
was nicotine and rum

I remember well
and this is unhelpful

Now here we are
ten years since hello
friends at the end of it
and you lean by the bar
while I sigh