Free

When I was thirteen, they showed me new beauty right before my eyes
Told me, I would redefine myself with new beauty too
If I really loved me
If I wanted someone to love me
If I ever wanted to be looked at as more than the girl with the pen and the paper

They decorated canvases of people we would never be and called them goals
Painted pictures of bodies we would never have and called them distant realities
Fell in love with images we could never have and called them necessary

They spun webs of lies and referred to them as personal identity
Wove nightmares into the fabrics of dreams and pretended they weren’t hiding secrets
Smiled as they took your innocence, laughed as they saw you crying, let go when you thought you were going to break, when you needed someone to hold you together
They thrived on your insecurities, relished in your doubts, and called it being American.

Your mother accuses you
But Jennifer, you love this jacket
The bathroom mirror accuses you
But Amy, you used to love me
And Jennifer asks you
But Brendan you used to love me

They each answer almost defensively
Yes, but I can’t anymore.

Because they took our ideas of love and told us they were wrong, replaced the people in our lives just as easily as they could replace us, but love is never wrong, and as long as we love, neither are we.

Because we all found words, we all found language around the same time
But somehow they learned to use them to spin insults about the same time I was learning to mold poetry
And the Jennifers and the Brendans and the Daisys and the Adams of the world learned how to believe the lies about the same time I started to learn how to believe in myself.

Your dreams are unattainable, they tell you
You’ll never know love, they say
Did you dress in the dark, they ask you

They open you up to vulnerability until you are just another victim waiting for the wrecking ball of reality, we all stand here waiting, but we need to stop
Stop waiting for reality to come around
Stop wearing their unattainable expectations on your shoulders
Everyone can see they’re impossible, they don’t fit you, make you look like you’re waiting

Take off the expectations.  Tear apart the lies and the nightmares.
Mold poetry when they fabricate insults
Let yourself break free from the chains of their ideas of identity and finally fly free.

You say, your mirror is the only one that believes you are beautiful.
But remember, at the end of the day, your reflection has the only opinion that matters.