Misty Mountain Hopp.

        
     
Long, long ago, IN THE DAYS OF YORE, when magic filled the air, there was a very small mouse named Ozzy. Ozzy was an orphan, but he didn't care. He had never known his parents, and he was ok with that because of precisely that; he had never known them(rumor had it they were eaten by a Ballox). Needless to say, he was terrified of Ballox.    
  So, Ozzy made a promise to himself that he would learn how to use the forest to his advantage, just in case a Ballox happened by. He knew how to get through the forest without making a sound or touching the ground.    
  His neighbors, the Titty Mouses, did their best to make his life miserable by taunting him. They made fun of him because they thought he was different. To them, different meant weird. Different, because he had never lived in a proper house,  his clothes were ratty, he scavenged off the land for his meals instead of growing a proper garden and buying the rest at the mouse market. He  even believed in Ballox, which everyone knew had died out years ago. His hair was long (at least for a mouse) and he danced in the moonlight to the most obnoxious loud music. For God's sake, he didn't even use roads like normal mice did.    
  They thought it  hilarious to see him swinging from the low lying branches, using leaves to skit across the pond and pieces of curling worm grass to pogo over rocks, bottomless pits, and time warp holes. Where was his honor!!!    
  They hated his choice of music, and would cover their ears as the words "I am Iron Man"  thumped out of his trumpet vine speakers just to annoy them. It sounded to them as if the Prince of Darkness himself was bellowing out the words. "    
  OH, Ballox " they would say, and stomp away when they heard him singing along with his crazy music.    
  Ozzy didn't care what they thought about the music he'd found and brought back with him that time he fell thru the time warp. He loved it. It made him feel powerful and strong, like a Rock.    
  This particular day, Ozzy was kicking back on his hemp hammock way high up in a tree where no one could see him unless they looked very, very hard. He was smoking some four leaf clovers out of his water reed to settle his nerves, when he thought he heard a sound below him.    
  Feeling too lazy to jump down and see what it was, he lolled his head over the side of the hammock and took a peeksee.    
  Ozzy almost pooped the seeds out that he'd had for breakfast.    
He knew it was a Ballox because it smelled horribly rotten like Fromunda cheeze. And Lord was it ugly. Ozzy had never seen anything uglier than the hairy Ballox beneath him. Why, it reminded him of two huge hairy figs that had dropped off a tree and rotted.    
  The Ballox was sniffing around the rabbit hole Ozzy lived in. Ozzy daren't move, breath or anything else to draw attention to himself. Slowly, the Ballox lifted his head and glanced around sniffing the air.    
  The thing had one huge eye in the middle of his forehead.The eye of the beast moved up,down and in circles trying to see if any lunch was around. After a couple of minutes the thing rolled down the road and out of sight.    
  What was it doing here? Why now, and where had it been hiding?    
Ozzy's long hair rose off of his neck, which made him look slightly similar to a dandelion. Ozzy was thinking of the different way's he could get food for himself without ever leaving the hammock, when he heard a blood curdling scream coming from the direction he had seen the Ballox disappear from.    
  "My baby, my baby" screamed MRS. Titty mouse as she came running down the road towards Ozzy.    
  "A Ballox ate my baby, a Ballox ate my baby"!!! she screamed.    
  "Are you sure the Ballox ate yo baby" yelled Ozzy? "Did you see the Ballox actually eat yo baby". "Did You? Did you actually see it EAT yo baby" he yelled again?    
  "Get a grip on yourself Mrs.Titty or I will never be able to help. If there is any chance at all, you need to tell me now".    
  Mrs. Titty mouse looked at Ozzy and with tears streaming down her face, she sobbed, "no I didn't see the Ballox actually eat my baby, but the Ballox grabbed him from his mouse pen in the front yard, rolled away with him right in front of my very eyes and ran towards the Misty Mountains".    
  Without thinking, Ozzy grabbed a branch and started swinging through the trees towards the Misty Mountains. He knew if the Ballox made it to the Misty Mountains he would never find them.    
  Little Ozzy swung through those trees like he'd never swung before, hand over hand, stopping for only seconds to make sure he was still on the Ballox trail.    
  He knew he was getting close when he started smelling the stench of Fromunda cheeze. Oh God that stunk. How could something possibly smell that bad. Someone needs to pick up those hairy figs and wash, thought Ozzy!! As the stench got stronger, Ozzy started slowing down, making sure he was making no noises, swinging silently.    
  And then,Ozzy could hear the beast, it's flap, flap, flapping sound as the hairy figs hit the ground.    
  Then the Ballox was in his sight. Fear tore through Ozzy's mind as he swung in the branches about the beast. It had to be the ugliest thing he'd ever seen. The Ballox was dripping a foul substance Ozzy believed could only be sweat from exertion. Ugly blue and purple veins pulsated up and down the two fig like body parts. Short black coarse hair in ugly patches curling from the sweat. It was an abomination.    
  Ozzy knew he only had seconds to save the small mouse clutched in the beasts arms as the misty Mountains loomed ahead. Seeing his chance, Ozzy swung low enough to actually touch the beast, but only plucked the bairn out of the Ballox grasp, wrapping his tail around the child so he could use both hands to swing up and around the the back side of the tree to where the Ballox wouldn't be able to see them. Up into the tree they went and Ozzy only stopped when he knew it would be safe.    
  Ozzy could hear the beast scream in rage, making hard flopping sounds. He peered down at the monster and watched as it rolled in circles, filth and mucusy sweat flinging all over. It could smell Ozzy but could not see him hiding up in the trees.    
  Wow man, that beast is having a kaniption fit for real, thought Ozzy. Not wanting to be caught, Ozzy looked at the small child in his arms and it smiled at him as Ozzy turned around silently heading towards home, leaving the beast confused as to where his meal had gone.    
  The bairn made not a sound until Ozzy swung up to the Titty mouses house, whereupon it started screaming hysterically for it's mother and leaped into her arms.    
  "Now, now sweet child", cooed it's mother. "No need to be a Titty Mouse Crybaby" she said and turned towards Ozzy.    
  "I will never be able to repay you for what you've done for our family. We were wrong about you. You are a very brave and smart mouse and I willy surely box the ears of any mouse who says different." said Mrs. Titty mouse. "Dinner, tomorrow night at six. Don't be late".    
  Ozzy's mouth dropped open in shock. He looked at Mrs. Titty mouse and then down at himself, seeing his raggety clothes. Looking back up at her he said "I've nothing to wear".    
  "Ballox," she said. "You look perfect just the way you are", and she smiled. "Six sharp".    
  Ozzy ran back to his rabbit hole, climbed back up to his hemp hammock, grabbed his water reed, his 4 leaf clovers and blazed the night away....    
I AM IRONMAN    
     
This is dedicated to my son Julian, whom I told many bedtime stories to very similar to this one