deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Man With The Pocket Watch
Every night I see him
The man with the pocket watch.
He is very tall and very thin.
Like a giant I never can see his face.
His hands are warm and aged,
From years of hard work and pain.
Though his eyes I cannot grasp,
His smile never fades.
Every night I see him
The man with the pocket watch.
Every night we go out
To see the pretty lights.
He brings me to the carnival
Though he hates clowns.
He carries me on his shoulders
Allowing me to see the world.
Every night I see him
The man with the pocket watch.
His laugh echoes in my heart,
His comforting embrace carries me.
We sit on a bench.
As I play with his watch.
Hunter case, and opal face,
With sapphire arms, and endless movements.
Every night I love him
The man with my heart.
The man with the pocket watch.
He is very tall and very thin.
Like a giant I never can see his face.
His hands are warm and aged,
From years of hard work and pain.
Though his eyes I cannot grasp,
His smile never fades.
Every night I see him
The man with the pocket watch.
Every night we go out
To see the pretty lights.
He brings me to the carnival
Though he hates clowns.
He carries me on his shoulders
Allowing me to see the world.
Every night I see him
The man with the pocket watch.
His laugh echoes in my heart,
His comforting embrace carries me.
We sit on a bench.
As I play with his watch.
Hunter case, and opal face,
With sapphire arms, and endless movements.
Every night I love him
The man with my heart.
Published 19th Oct 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
19th Oct 2012 7:09am
As like before, I find this piece to be quite beautiful. Work on the punctuation, as there is a lot of periods. I think that they just aren't needed.
Every night we go out.
To see the pretty lights.
He brings me to the carnival.
Though he hates clowns.
I think the transitions between these lines can be strengthened a bit. Just need to be adjusted as necessary.
I really like this piece a lot. But you know this.
Hunter case, and opal face.
With sapphire arms, and endless movements.
I love these lines especially.
Every night we go out.
To see the pretty lights.
He brings me to the carnival.
Though he hates clowns.
I think the transitions between these lines can be strengthened a bit. Just need to be adjusted as necessary.
I really like this piece a lot. But you know this.
Hunter case, and opal face.
With sapphire arms, and endless movements.
I love these lines especially.
19th Oct 2012 7:26am
20th Oct 2012 8:55am
12th May 2015 9:18pm
Reply to "The Man With The Pocket Watch":
Towards the start of the poem,
I was a lover,
Then became a child,
Only to end with time.
Wonderful.
Yours faithfully Infernus.
Towards the start of the poem,
I was a lover,
Then became a child,
Only to end with time.
Wonderful.
Yours faithfully Infernus.
