I just want to go home

Everybody's so smart or so say the ignorant,
Even the compliment takes offense, when you all become a slave to it,
I'm not saying i'm untouched or selfish actions have no hold on me,
but I found my end, and I know when I need to take my leave,

-I just want to go home,
and I swear I'll find it.-

Behind everyone's logic,
I found a part so small
no compassion could touch it,

I'm level headed enough to know when,
something is killing me,
its not just emotions,
or this so called relationships and humanity,
I've been broken so long,
words of advice and the will to persevere,
seem almost nonexistent from this year to that year,
I couldn't even tell you what extremes I feel,
for fear of remembering could scare any self awareness that appears,

I just want to go home,

Inside the memories,
I hear so many constantly telling me,
"You're stronger than this!,"
                                              So I persist,

Now emotionally dead,
Spiritually void, even my relationship hanging on
by that very thread, that it started on.
with every shred of evidence,
what's the reason to carry on


I just want to go home


The worst part of all this, my head,
so many I've told, but don't get me wrong,
your concern goes noted
I'm just tired of the same old remedies,
to those who saw what happens when I explode,
I'm sorry, but I have no enemies,
and that wasn't always fair,
but if your truly care,
when I'm at my worst
just simply leave me alone.

for the most part I stay my distance anyway.


But I just want to go home.....



"Suicide is selfish",
sometimes it's also inevitable,
not saying on my verge of it,
but don't lecture me on morals and sins
when you yourself are so far from an angel
that your ego alone, is worse than I have ever been


From the start my heart and my mind were broken
walking my empty vessel to the bitter end,
hoping and wishing I could be whole,
and the words could finally be spoken,

Finally I'm home.