Sister

 
I open your door,
without knocking,
despite your warnings
and I see you there
half naked and gyrating,
your fingers in places
they're not meant to be.
I'm too young to understand
but I do
my innocence already having been shattered
by another
and you know all too well
who I mean.
I'm already acquainted with that special place
where fear and shame
and pleasure meet.
You tell me to come in
and close the door.
I don't want to
and tell you I'm afraid.
You assure me there's nothing to be afraid of,
that you're my big sister
and it's your job to teach me
about these kinds of things.
You grin at me
and spread yourself
for me
and I almost panic.
You're not allowed,
no one's allowed,
it's only for him
and he'll be so mad.
You tell me to come closer,
and you close the door,
calling me a coward
and grabbing my wrist.
You guide my hand
and press my fingers
to where yours were
but a moment before.
I blush and ask
with some surprise
if I'll grow hair there
when I'm older too.
Again you grin
and tell me yes
that it's not just boys
despite what I thought.
You pull me with you
as you walk to your bed
and I say again that I want to go.
You roll your eyes
and say I'm being silly
after all
you only want to teach me
about sex.