Making Up My Mind

I thought i knew what I wanted but I guess I was fronting. Time to restructure my mind set because what I thought is not working. Like freedom that keeps one captive, I've condensed  to nothing. Is the problem me or my perception, either way it has to be something.

Something I've failed to acknowledge, perhaps I'm just reluctant. To sacrifice and accomplish everything I once wanted. Hence now it all seems worthless, fact is I'm incompetent. Working hard to lose focus, giving in to self influence.

Have I forgotten what my purpose is like 3rd world politicians? Governed by sound policies making impetuous decisions. Feeling out of tune like teens under pressure trying to be ubiquitous. Instead of fighting i surrender to foreseen discrepancies.

Dancing in an blender of emotions such as anger. Pleasure and terror, shredding into pieces. Internally, feeling things in every fiber of my anatomy. Inextricably, trying to get myself through a maze I created mentally.

But what's the purpose? I'd like to face the wilderness without having to be cautious. Embracing the moment because that's all I have, and its copious. To last me a lifetime, although at times it won't be that obvious...