last dirt filled breath

My last dirt filled breath,
feels so goood but feels so bad,
he pushes what seems to meh his life so i wont,
last pack, last wasted pack,
years paying to slowly kill meh is done,
heathly again, i can breathe,
feels good
feels bad
craving that last dirt filled breath
cant.
his own heath is worth more
i love him to much to let him destroy his life,
with that one last dirt filled breath
i wont & will not let something
controll me..
push push forward
find other things to do.
think of him.
keep him save
feels good to
finally make someone proud.
~
failed.
but, yet still a great feeling
older, smarter,
if I take another dirt filled inhale, its my decision.
if I dont, I do it for myself and noone else.
my last dirt filled breath, will nolonger be my last unless I chose it to be