realism

everyone's looking for love over the horizon
fucking dreamers
I'm a realist
I'm waiting for the next painful sting
of the assassin's bullet
to attack and pull me back under
to where I'm swallowed into that dark infection
of the pain in my heart
that drives me to tears
and obsessive thoughts of leaving
sometimes seems like the gods or aliens or higher-ups
want me to leave
"to what ever's up there"
"just give me the means and I'll be happy to oblige"
"but please just give me for 4 more months"
"and one more piece of ass"
"then I'm gone"
"poof"
"you win"
"is that all you want"
"I don't want my life"
"you can have it"
"I will give up the ghost"
"just give me the means"
"4 more months"
"and one more piece of ass"