Just..........Searching & Searching

     Just..........
 Searching & Searching
 But only finding you within me.
 Scavenging through what's left of my remains,  
 like a rat in sewage
 
Searching & Searching
 But all I find is filth.
 Doing everything to please you
 while knowing I Lost Sight of Myself.
 
Just..........Wondering is there a pill?
 A pill.....strong enough to numb this?
 
I've become a paraplegic.
 No longer able to stand up to all your
 strategic mind fucks.
 
     Just..........
 Searching & Searching
 But all I find are bruises  
 from all your harsh blows
 Love isn't a feeling anymore
 
     Just..........
 Contaminated lies.
 That I keep feeding myself while
 wishing I'd just..........die.
 
Remembering the good times
 when I was high off your -
 broken promises.
 Reality has finally set in.
 
The man I once loved,
 I now fear & shit just..........
 got too real because,
 this fear is the only thing
 keeping me near.
 
     Just..........
 Searching & Searching
But how do I finally escape this?