deepundergroundpoetry.com
Needing you but wanting him
Passion, forbidden from the truth
Crushing on you, what a lie
Needing you, but wanting him
A safety and a pleasure derived deep within
A sickening feeling I cannot suppress
Feels like acid burning my flesh
How does one acquiesce?
When his touch means everything to me
The craving and the desire
It is a poison; I cannot stop it
I am bound to him and I cannot help it
Between you both I cannot win
I need you, but I want him
Crushing on you, what a lie
Needing you, but wanting him
A safety and a pleasure derived deep within
A sickening feeling I cannot suppress
Feels like acid burning my flesh
How does one acquiesce?
When his touch means everything to me
The craving and the desire
It is a poison; I cannot stop it
I am bound to him and I cannot help it
Between you both I cannot win
I need you, but I want him
Published 8th Sep 2012
| Edited 9th Sep 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
9th Sep 2012 1:42am
I see something in this piece of an earlier me. The body wants what the body wants, sin shouldn't come into it. Coming to terms with that idea can be difficult though. I enjoy this rhyme scheme[rhyming couplet after each stanza].
Always a pleasure to read your work Jordanne.
Duncan
Always a pleasure to read your work Jordanne.
Duncan
9th Sep 2012 11:18pm
Duncan;)
Hmm I took what you said into account and I realised that where i was going with writing this with the line '..silly sin' didnt quite materialise so I changed the line.
Thank you for taking the time to read & comment. Its appreciated.
Hmm I took what you said into account and I realised that where i was going with writing this with the line '..silly sin' didnt quite materialise so I changed the line.
Thank you for taking the time to read & comment. Its appreciated.
10th Sep 2012 10:49am
My pleasure. 'Silly sin' did rather detract from the 'almost solemnity' the rest of the poem generates.
