anothere day goes by

I wake up,
tears streaming down my face,
from the dream i just woke up from.

All i want is to be like everyone else,
but this is no longer an option for me,
due to the scares against my wrist,
so deep, so deep it scares me more then death.

when everyone else  laugh's it feels like a sharp knife to
me,
when they crie,i try to crie with them,
but they to reject my gothness.
so now i sit sit here in this cold black room,
with depressing music to sooth me,
whist slicing any part of my pale body that is not  already
scared !!

I wish to be loved,
other then by this blade.
so in this dark room,
i sit here and watch yet another day go by,
each day seems to last an eternity.

I wish to be like the other girls.

but all that brings me is
more pain!thy blood and thoughts slowly become
more appealing to me.

i am starting to understand
this dark creature i have become,
and now,
now i praise it!

my nightmares please me,
and i wake with with a gory thought,
and and dark deceiving smile.

now i look at myself in the mirror,
and see only blood scares and a blank pale lifeless body,
and now,
now enjoy being goth...
a christian goth!!

i look at thy blood smeared across my face
and pale arms.
and feel the warmth of love.

i sit here and watch and count the death of
thy loved ones,
as my heart is sic and crude,
soaked in darkness.

so now my blade and i sit and
toast our blood filled chalice.

whist watching the days go by!!!