Thunder

I am not renewed
I wake up in the morning, just to look at myself to see if I have changed
and every morning when I haven't, it's a day where my reflection smiles, to hide the tears that drip from my heart.
I wait at the bus stop alone, looking deeply at the house behind it, wishing i was the person that lived within it.
I get on the bus, and sit in one of the last seats, and stare out of the window, hoping to be left alone one day...where i wouldnt have to tell my friends more lies.
I walk around the hall in my highschool, observing, knowing, that they all have some future to believe in, whereas I have a future that turns to ashes when I try to believe in it.
I sit in my classes, and pretend to care what I do, but secretly hides the desire to fail...just so I can assure myself that I don't care anymore.
And when I get to lunch, I sit with my friends and laugh, every second my heart is pumping harder and harder when one of my desires speak. I insult to empower.

And when I get home.
I land into my covers and cry about all the things i couldn't cry about at school.
I open the window to feel the cool breeze touch my face
So that i feel like im apart of the wind, and maybe think that maybe somewhere where the wind blows, there is something worth living another day for.

I just when I believe there isn't anything else. I hear the sound of thunder. And it reminds me...it reminds me that a tiny spark can ignite an explosion. And even though I feel like I have no love to give to others, and I know others dont really care, I can see with the sound of thunder, how far I can fall.