deepundergroundpoetry.com
MS
after tea
I wash the china and the empty two pinter
after removing labels
and sit by the front window
watching the world waste its day as I
waste mine
sleep hits in a high backed chair
and I snore
heavy as a beached whale
drowned in litter and bile
a merry tune from an ice cream van lures my eyes half-open
with a groan and an undertone of want for another half hour
the key turns in the door
and in he storms with dreams of a woman who has dinner on the table
wearing a floral apron and ringlets cascading from her head
but I am back combed
as if I have been diddling the milkman all day long
and the meat is still just defrosting
he closes the door on the study
and again I close my eyes on the world
I wash the china and the empty two pinter
after removing labels
and sit by the front window
watching the world waste its day as I
waste mine
sleep hits in a high backed chair
and I snore
heavy as a beached whale
drowned in litter and bile
a merry tune from an ice cream van lures my eyes half-open
with a groan and an undertone of want for another half hour
the key turns in the door
and in he storms with dreams of a woman who has dinner on the table
wearing a floral apron and ringlets cascading from her head
but I am back combed
as if I have been diddling the milkman all day long
and the meat is still just defrosting
he closes the door on the study
and again I close my eyes on the world
Published 22nd Aug 2012
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likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 7
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The author encourages honest critique.
what a snapshot... it's bound to be underrated actually, probably because many are unfamiliar with MS, but this was a heart-tugging, intimate view on a relationship that's trying to withstand the symptoms. well brought.
22nd Aug 2012 1:33pm
Anonymous
22nd Aug 2012 4:52pm
i like the placement in 'love' that puts more emphasis on the couple dealing with the disease rather than the narrator, alone. it's full of beautiful pairings ('with a groan and an undertone of want'/'half-open...half hour') and reading this reminds me of looking at a quilt and slowly pulling out the lining stitches individually.
22nd Aug 2012 6:45pm
Thank you, aglitch! I loved the quilt metahor, really worked for my headspace.
1st Oct 2012 8:10pm
LA
marvelous scribe-ings altogether. you make it so easy for me to be immersed into these words.
the whole poem is gold, there are a few lines that stuck out for me, the 'heavy as a beached whale'
'diddling definitely works better than 'fucking
the last two lines were a perfect exit.
structure and breaks really work too.
sorry i have nothing constructive for you.
marvelous scribe-ings altogether. you make it so easy for me to be immersed into these words.
the whole poem is gold, there are a few lines that stuck out for me, the 'heavy as a beached whale'
'diddling definitely works better than 'fucking
the last two lines were a perfect exit.
structure and breaks really work too.
sorry i have nothing constructive for you.
19th Dec 2012 9:46am
19th Dec 2012 9:46am
