Up to me

 
I guess not everything is how it seems
Even though i have moved on i still see her in my dreams 
What is wrong with me i just want to forget 
But maybe im not ready to move on yet 
It doesnt matter what i do i have tried everything 
I thought this pain was gone but i can still feel its sting 
No matter what goes on i never seem to win 
Its starting to look like not even god is without sin 
Why is he letting this happen what have i done 
Does he just like to torture me for fun 
My life is so fucked up and my mind is out of wack 
When i asked him for help he just turned his back 
So now its up to me to make myself whole 
Because i dont need god's help to mend my broken soul