why

Staring at these four walls .
Wake up.
Smoke.
Sit, wondering why the fuck.
Did I give it all away.
I'm 21.
I left her.
For a better life.
Now were so far away.
I am amassed of what I've become.
The alcohol has consumed me.
Their tho.
The pills, set the the divine.
now what have a become.
A foolish monster.
Lost it.
To. The drugs.
The alcohol,  made mind on a level.
When I had No high.
But the magic green.
Oh so sweet an great. Made life easy.
To get thru.  
But the pills.  Made it fly. Like life.
Wasn't their.
But you.
Told me to go.
Cause it was crumbling.
But we were whole. Strong.
But I left,  gave up.
I had the money.
But the bills were to high.
The drugs were to great.
Now where am I.
Ur gone the alcohol is back.
No drugs No high.
I've fallen
Screaming.  
Wanting to get out.
Not  wanting to  
End up like my father or my mother.
Or that damm lost soul.
My brother. Too young. To be great.
I'm in all their shoes know what the fuck.
Do I do.
As it all falls.
The walls closing in.
I just want you back.
Why did I leave.
Why are these scars getting deeper.

Why why.
I just want to go home.