Big Girl Blues

For Brandalynn, my daughter.

Her eyes...
They blaze a fiery hazel bronze
in the sunlight.
As the light of painful memories
takes flight .
Inside
her
mind
She remembers her pain and days filled with rain..
I guess that's why...
I see clouds forming in her eyes.

My mini me..
replica of who I was in my twenties
I see her trying to fight the same enemy's as me
Those loathsome "inner" me's
That threaten to bring Legions with them
Now... I think it's going to rain..
as I watch her struggle and strain against the grain
Determined....she's gonna live her life ....
her way.
She's twenty...and
My advice is passe.
So I have to hunker down in my "Strong Mama" position
Keep my mouth shut...
Yet still send up petitions
for her safe journey through life
and her protection from strife
I watch her sashay around...
Like a Queen in training...
still learning how to carry herself
especially when you have to walk life's
road when its raining
She tells me "Mama, sometimes I get lost in my thoughts"
So I say "That's okay,because for lesser sins some souls
have been bought.
But no matter what happens baby ....
just never stop
because that's how young birds like you in webs..
get caught.
Now at this ... she just smiles, as she
embraces her many faces and styles
Then she says " Mama, I got this"
and I begin  to think that maybe confidence
is the key to this shit...
So I just smile,and tell her I know she can handle it
Cause if not...I will be around
even though I know she must fall sometimes
She is still my baby and I don't wanna let her feet hit the ground.... too hard.
As I watch her spiritually starve
What's a  mother to do...
she's  so called grown...
leaving me with her " Big Girl Blues"