WHAT HAS BEEN MISSING ALL ALONG

How do you like them apples? Someone asked me today, and then I smiled before I looked away.
I rested my eyes as I lay beneath an apple tree, I roamed in a garden and I was given no choice but to leave.
I leave behind a garden of fruit ripe and succulent at the core, grape vines twisted all has vanished evermore.
There on after I have traveled alone, long gone from the place I claimed as home.
I journey through exile one step at a time and this journey has been mine.
It has been mine alone because I travel alone, life is strange and twisted like a falling dream, voices inside echo, mind busting at the seam. And I haven’t traveled lightly and they push down harder on me, the world on my shoulders impossible to breath. But I do it anyway because I feel like I should, they said I couldn’t do it, I never said I would and I will not swear that I can because it will never be good enough for you my traumatic  friend, you never cease to amaze me the way you still pretend.
You’re no different now then you were the first time I witnessed you as you bat your eye, I wanted to believe you however I have claimed your love to be lie. Lie beyond comprehension because I’ll always be blinded by the honest truth. But I swear I’ve always loved you right now until the sun doesn’t rise any longer.
What hurts me now will make me stronger.
I open my eyes and I gaze the falling stars, someplace out there I know that you are.
Your plans to surpass my leading goal, what was built to last will eventually fall, and down will come heaven, angels and all.
I lean in forward to kiss the sleeping prince goodnight, the angels are grasping for the falling stars, times like these, when it comes to faith only corrosion will comply. Faith is just something I have come to deny. Maybe it’s something that I was never there, or perhaps I’m just heartless because I no longer care.  I still believe the soul is inside of you and that persistence will both complete today and prepare the day in front of you. Yes, what doesn’t kill you might make you stronger, but holding back is only an extension on making these hard feeling last even longer. The unspoken tongue is the silent killer for any love.
God knows I love the boy far beyond his years and only my sleeve will dry away his tears as he’s drowning. He drowns in his of history as he lives in the present living to wake yester day and the earth only spins into tomorrow. There is a fear in waking up, not knowing where you are. Strange places, bizarre faces you are faced with to start in a world you do not know. I wake this morning only to find him gone, he’s long gone into another world only the soul can reach, that I do not know but he leaves me something on his pillow, a dead rose, denied the love I had figured we shared, beside me lay nothing when all along he was never there.