slice and dice

you look through your draws
once you find it
what is it for???
you know dam well what its for
you slid down the door
you grip it tight with your right hand
and pull up your sleve
you feel the cold metal against your skin
you press down till you know its in
then???
you slice your wrist
the pain stays not it going away
you slice and dice again
pain...
there it goes away
slice and dice one more time
then your fading away
your thinking great
the slice and diced worked
you finally black out
BUT
you woke up in the morning
and think to yourself
oh shit here we go again