because of you

You should of known better
Than to have a kid at your age
Was I a disgrace is that why you left?
You were my mum, atleast in a biological sense
You were never there for me
You werent even there to hear my first words
I was three months old when you left me
I didn’t know what was going on
You abandoned me and my father
Was I not what you expected?
Was I not good enough for you
Years had passed I hadnt heard a word from you when you suddenly decide to come visit me
What were you expecting?
That I'd run and jump into your arms
"oh mommy I've missed you so much I love you"
Hah you wish
You left me and dad for another man, you went and had another child
My sister, I love her she's amazing I'd always wanted a sister and I'd finally gotten one
We got to be real close, you would bring her over every week to see me
Then all of a sudden you left again
I cried and cried though I didn’t fully understand what was happening
You left my sisters dad for another man
You had another child
Another girl
Then left her dad
And went and had another girl
But as usual you left him to
You let my sisters do whatever they wanted
They were on the streets at night
Didn’t have food or shelter had to walk miles to get home
Then you started drugs
Popping any pill you could find
Injecting yourself with random syringes
But you came crawling back to me wanting sympathy
Claiming to be better
"no I stopped drugs I'm not like that anymore"
Yea that must explain all the marks on your arms
Your dilated pupils
You were the perfect junkie
You told me you wanted to start fresh
Get to know me
A week later I found out you had moved away
Far away
And taken my sisters with you
I was stunned
Shocked you hadnt told me
I cried I would never get to see my sisters again
Witness them grow up and turn into young ladies
I was crushed
Some mother you turned out to be
But look at me now
With all I have been through I turned out pretty good
You leaving me
Anxiety
Depression
Cutting
And I look back on it all today
And wonder
Was it all because of you?