Daddy

"Daddy, do you love me?
No.
But why daddy? Why?
You're a screw up. A mistake. You were supposed to die.
Im sorry daddy. I didnt mean too.
Yes, you did. You filthy child. It's a disgrace to even recognize you as my offspring."
Tears, of betrayal. Years After thinking its my fault.
Pain laces my heart, guilt warps everything.
Guilt that i was born.
"but, can't i just pretend? Ill just pretend to be someone else.
No! Because i will still know it's you."
Red hand marks across my face,
Marking my back. So painful. It hurts, and he won't stop.
"Daddy stop! You're hurting me!
Good. Now whenever you look at these scars, you will know that i dont love you."
So unloved. Uncared for. Forgotten. Hurt. Weird sensation.
"Daddy, don't do that! Stop touching me there, stop please!
You deserve this. After all you are unwanted, who would ever make you feel like this besides me just this one time?
Daddy, you're confusing me. This is not right. It can't be right!"
Screams echo unheard. My voice becomes hoarse,
I hate it because deep inside i enjoy it too. I disgust myself..
"OW!! Please daddy please!
Fine, you worthless girl. Im done with you anyway. Stay here and don't leave.
Now you know what real abadonment feels like."
So cold. Violated. Guilty. Dirty. I can't stop the ribbons of thoughts
Telling me it's all my fault. Everything is my fault and now,
Im alone.