When it rains

these feelings come and go like soft, slow spring rainstorms. I watch sitting up here on my shallow balcony as the rain falls and the sun sets. beads slide against the soft purple flesh of the flowers across the street. the world is dark so I take another slow drag on this cigarette and wait for the gentle rain to calm. there is light in the darkness. it only happens when the rain comes. -still falling-
another day arrives. I sit and watch the morning rise slow across the horizon. no sound or thought from the outside. only the coming of another dreary day.
a young man walks down the street. he is but a shadow and he strolls along. he is tall, and his hair is dark. he is crying. it's still raining. the drops fall in sync with his tears. He stops. He turns and his deep chocolate eyes gaze up at me.
The heavy curtains hide me well but still he stares up, directly at me. He can see me. I know it. I can feel his eyes seering into my own. so simple, so amazing. he says nothing. just stares.
Tell me about this day, my angel of silence, for I have not seen outsude of my walls for two years. the days pass me quickly and slowly. Outside in the world, each day is different. But within my hiding place nothing changes. the rain falls everyday and I only feel pain.
Until today, I haven't thought of anything but the rain. Now, I think gently and i long for you. i think of how life could come and go through my wooden door. how you could come through that door and into my heart.
the young man opened his lips and started to sing. the stars turned in his eyes. it wouldv'e been the most marvelous thing i've ever heard if the window wasn't so thick. My mind burst out into feelings I had never felt before. thought a thousand things but i hear nothing except the silence.
He stopped singing. His beautiful lips stopped moving. I moved away from the window, closed the curtains behind me and sat in my chair. my pack of cigarettes sat next to me. I felt no temptation to light it. an hour went by. I couldnt get the image of the dark-haired man out of my head. there was a light knock at the door. i pealed myself off the hardwood floor. It was him. The man from the street. the one who made me feel light and uplifted just by looking at me. He took my hand. I invited him in for coffee and we talked for hours. He kissed me only twice. He told me that he had no place to stay, so I let him have the couch. He spent 3 days there. One morning he received a call about his mother, she had passed the night before. He gathered his things and left. Before he left, he kissed me lightly on my cheek and wispered in my ear " I will always remember you Guinevere. I love you with my whole heart" and then he left.
After the door shut, life stood still again, as did i. Not knowing what would happen now, I went back to my chair. I looked out the window and noticed that it had stopped raining. for the first time in two years. a smile grew across my face.
I heard nothing but the silence that surrounded me. It was the very feeling of existence. I know it is there because I can feel it. I felt him. It is such a simple and beautiful thing....the rain I mean.