I'm not worth it...

I've never had the balls to report them. I was always afraid I would get in trouble. I also fear going to court. Is what they did really worth sending them to jail over? The first one tried to put his penis in me. But he was too drunk and kept missing. But his hand was inside me. And I was locked between his arms against that cold, stone pillar. The second one, I woke up at 5:30 am and his penis was hanging out. I didn't mean to sleep over. I was going to sneak out once I was sure he was sleeping. But I passed out. I just remember trying to push him off while he kissed me and bit my tongue. He was drunk, and possibly a little high. The third... Was my best friend's ex boyfriend... I know you still love each other... I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have let it happen... But apparently no means keep going... I feel sick. And I can't tell you because I'm afraid you'll get angry or think I did something to provoke it. But I was SOBER. He was a little drunk. And I was trying to go to sleep!! For the first time in 3 years I had the strength to say no. And it didn't work. I'm ill. I'm angry. I'm destroyed... I feel defeated.