deepundergroundpoetry.com
If you were a man
Holy Moly!
I ate a Stomboli that was as big as my head!
On the way home, I've suddenly known that
I would have to take a SHIT before bed.
I ran into the house with a skip and a bounce.
I had almost missed the can!
I've cleared the way, then I took my aim
and bombed it like Japan!
I sat for a while, then I began to smile, as
my toxic fumes started to linger.
I covered it with glade and was cleaning the mess I made.
When I discovered some hot fudge on My [/font]Finger!
[/font]
It didn't look that nice and I didn't need to think twice, [/font]
so I quickly cleaned it right away.
As fast as a blink, it went down the sink.
To begin it's long journey to the Bay.
When I felt like I was done, and I ended my fun, because
all that pushing got my stomach weak.
Next, I planned to check out the disaster, because I am
that sick bastard, who always has to take a peak.
As a single tear ran down my cheek. I couldn't speak...
Because, I was staring at the turd of the Week!
It took Three flushes to get most of it, so I wrote a poem
about it, then I posted it!
First, I showed it to my wife and she wasn't a fan. So, I
told her, " I guess you can only enjoy it, if you were a man! "
[/font]
I ate a Stomboli that was as big as my head!
On the way home, I've suddenly known that
I would have to take a SHIT before bed.
I ran into the house with a skip and a bounce.
I had almost missed the can!
I've cleared the way, then I took my aim
and bombed it like Japan!
I sat for a while, then I began to smile, as
my toxic fumes started to linger.
I covered it with glade and was cleaning the mess I made.
When I discovered some hot fudge on My [/font]Finger!
[/font]
It didn't look that nice and I didn't need to think twice, [/font]
so I quickly cleaned it right away.
As fast as a blink, it went down the sink.
To begin it's long journey to the Bay.
When I felt like I was done, and I ended my fun, because
all that pushing got my stomach weak.
Next, I planned to check out the disaster, because I am
that sick bastard, who always has to take a peak.
As a single tear ran down my cheek. I couldn't speak...
Because, I was staring at the turd of the Week!
It took Three flushes to get most of it, so I wrote a poem
about it, then I posted it!
First, I showed it to my wife and she wasn't a fan. So, I
told her, " I guess you can only enjoy it, if you were a man! "
[/font]
Published 21st Mar 2010
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 898
Commenting Preference:
The author has chosen not to accept new comments at this time.
21st Mar 2010 12:40pm
I'm not a man myself, but the humor in this poem, had me giggling in the living room, when the rest of the house was in silence, and I got some funny stares.
Good job, you got me smiling, from this wonderful piece.
Good job, you got me smiling, from this wonderful piece.
28th Mar 2010 3:52am
oh good. i was hoping that it wasn't too gross. i'm glad it made you laugh. thanks again for making a comment on my poems.
