Myself

When she quiet you ask why  
the answer she give is because I don't like to talk a lot  
but that's just a simple answer she choose to give you  
saying certain things gets you into trouble  
no matter where it's coming from, even if its sincere  
she rather keep certain things hidden  
not because she fake either or because she doesn't like you  
no one truly knows you hundred percent.  
When you discourage your flesh and blood  
do you ever think before you act??  
 
You tell her she needs to dress her age  
but you bought her the clothes she is wearing  
you tell her to put on jewelry  
she doesn't have any  
you tell her to put on a dress  
she says “no. why?''  
you say because it will make you look better  
because you dress like a boy  
name calling and the silent tears stain her face  
all you want is control over a life that doesn't belong to you  
that hurts her deeply you know but she won't let you know that    
because she wants to be herself not a younger you  
to her your telling her that you don't except the way she is  
the farther you push her to change, the harder it is for you to reach her  
at this rate you will never understand her  
that's just so sad that you won't let ours discourage her  
but when you do it, do you honestly believe that it's okay??  
 
She won't have to tell you if it is important enough for you to realize.  
When I look into the mirror I don't see a pretty girl I see a girl who just wants to be accepted for who she is regardless of  her lack of body fat or beautiful skin  
I don't have a huge body that people find attractive I'm thin  
I hate what I see when I wake to the sounds of birds chirping    
people cursing and making this world into something dangerously deceitful  
having too many friends isn't so good because half of them aren't as real as they appear  
watch out for their judgmental luring eyes and fake sly smiles  
their voices sound so sweet and welcoming but underneath it all they are evil and unpleasant  
when I'm out and about I watch people so closely waiting for them to make there move  
 
It feels like I'm playing chess with so many complicated pieces to play  
I learned in this world nothing is as it first appears just like a wolf in sheep's clothing  
I want to escape from the harsh words and staring eyes, the uneasiness it all gives off  
humans feed off of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath and of course pride and envy  
I cannot giving into the answer to these deadly sins or I will be done for  
I'm not a person to just give in even though the odds are against me  
I will just back down when I'm being bullied  
kicked around by boys because they plainly just don't care for my feelings  
getting mocked by girls because they are insecure and jealous  
going mentally insane by the deep emotional scars I carry in my heart  
tears run down my face from all the hurtful words people say  
just hoping my world will go down and decay  
the only person who can make me happy is me  
I need to learn how to accept myself the way I am  
loving yourself always comes first