deepundergroundpoetry.com

Fear

A long time ago I might have believed,
That one day I'd achieve bliss.
Too focused on what other's need,
Telling people, 'You don't deserve this!'
When I needed comfort no one cared,
So I stopped crying and put on a smile.
They took my warmth, though it was unfair,
I was just an ear to lend for awhile.
So please don't appear before me,
Don't smile and tell me sweet things.
Smiling geniunely is something I can't achieve.
You'll just end up finding me disappointing.
I prayed for so long to disappear,
So why are you hugging me so tightly?
My heart races with adrenaline and fear,
Can I believe you when you say you'll stay with me?
I fear if I fall in love I'll be vulnerable,
That if I touch it, it'll dissolve and vanish.
Maybe if I keep your strength I'll be able,
To become a bit more selfish.
Just for this moment, is it okay to cry?
"Thank you very much for today." But please don't go.
I want to tell you how I feel without a lie,
Even though you may hurt me, I know.
"It's okay, I'm going to hold your hand."
Can I really trust you?
But I think I'm finally coming to understand,
I have nothing to lose in loving you.