deepundergroundpoetry.com
Born like it.
On the Telly-box
it's an f-and-blinder, in a bowler hat promoting
an O.D. of sorts.
A lady on a beach,
tanned, thin, relaxed,
uses sun lotion to tap her son's nose
and laugh with his Daddy about it.
I should be in the shower, drying my hair
and painting my toes
but I'm tired and I'm in bed.
I use a phone to type these uninteresting facts
about my last five minutes
because I'm half asleep and half awake
and it's too bright
to sleep
with the curtains open.
it's an f-and-blinder, in a bowler hat promoting
an O.D. of sorts.
A lady on a beach,
tanned, thin, relaxed,
uses sun lotion to tap her son's nose
and laugh with his Daddy about it.
I should be in the shower, drying my hair
and painting my toes
but I'm tired and I'm in bed.
I use a phone to type these uninteresting facts
about my last five minutes
because I'm half asleep and half awake
and it's too bright
to sleep
with the curtains open.
Published 12th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 851
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
12th Jun 2012 10:44pm
This poem has the crisp and punchy narrative of a short story. I loved the image of the woman beach because it was unpretentious and effective. You don't allow room for maudlin trickery, but tell a tale of the self which is compelling for its duration. It also, as a lot of your poems do, conveys the mundanity and frustrations of life in a gently surreal manner. Thanks for the read.
12th Jun 2012 10:52pm
Thank you, Jack I've been writing mainly due to your inspiration lately. Glad you liked it.
Anonymous
12th Jun 2012 11:24pm
My inspiration? I'm flattered. :)
13th Jun 2012 12:53pm
You find the beauty in mundanity. You're a crisp and blunt writer, I must admit I've turned my envy into an idea, that if I read your work daily it might allow me to use elements of the style.
13th Jun 2012 1:00am
LA
I always enjoy reading your self poems.
They make me feel alright. This, was
no different.
Ingenious, yes. Especially how you end it.
It involves the reader in a rather stronger
way. That directness makes it special, almost
bringing the reader to the setting.
Cinematique.:)
The beach sequence is valuable addition. It spells bleak in bright pastel. I almost felt
like pouring gasoline[Just saying, you know]
Half asleep and half awake works its way powerfully in this poem.
I loved this write,
Sumeet
I always enjoy reading your self poems.
They make me feel alright. This, was
no different.
Ingenious, yes. Especially how you end it.
It involves the reader in a rather stronger
way. That directness makes it special, almost
bringing the reader to the setting.
Cinematique.:)
The beach sequence is valuable addition. It spells bleak in bright pastel. I almost felt
like pouring gasoline[Just saying, you know]
Half asleep and half awake works its way powerfully in this poem.
I loved this write,
Sumeet
13th Jun 2012 12:54pm
13th Jun 2012 7:41pm
13th Jun 2012 9:20pm
