In the Holy Land

Never be a landlady.
I got a few lodgers,
All in the same house.
Nick’s downstairs, front bedroom,
Costs a fortune in heating bills
And his friends aren’t nice boys at all.
But the old guy with the attic room,
He’s not much better.
Slight mad standards – can’t say I mind
If Adam insists on a hundred pairs
Of identical jeans, or if Sammy
(First floor, bit of an ego and
Needs to get a haircut, silly lad)
Is always off out with that girl
Dahlia, something like that,
From the hairdressing salon down the road.
Just don’t do my job, that’s all I say:
Between Davey playing ball in the house
And Joe’s habit of leaving
Wood chippings all over the back passage,
I don’t have much left over
From the cost of all them repairs.
And even if it were some kind of
Strange little Holy Land with
Strange little Chosen People,
They’d still manage to have a fight or five.