wageing war

This grip on me tightens daily, its a burden unseen.
That noxious inebriation, washes it all away.
Making everything worse but yet is it better.
Never fixing anything.
Even still,Its a selfish choice,
but yet seems to be the best.
My night is gone, and bottle empty.
Only thing left is a drunken haze.
Numbs it all but burns the worst.
Fueling the fire that's almost wild.
Burning inside, unseen by all.
There are choices but regardless I will fall.
Soul is weakened. But the mind is numb.
Lost in the confusion.
Never knowing these feelings.
Understanding is minimal but it doesn't matter.
Another shot, it quells the thoughts.
They will return, always do.
Hard-wired for want, for need.
Numbs these things, these things indeed.

Lost but found. With an unknown battle.
No one knows, it cant be seen.
Always there beneth the surface.
Waiting for the want, my need is its feed.
The monster with loves these things indeed.
The bites are deep. The scars are old.
These shields I built never hold.