deepundergroundpoetry.com
i dont want
i dont want,
what everyone has.
not the pot,
that my brother hides.
or the meth,
my dad used to do.
i dont want any of it.
nothing.
what everyone has.
not the pot,
that my brother hides.
or the meth,
my dad used to do.
i dont want any of it.
nothing.
Published 7th Jun 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
8th Jun 2012 5:29am
10th Jun 2012 2:33am
10th Jun 2012 5:18pm
Anonymous
27th Jun 2012 6:28am
I'm not trying to be a bitch... But I don't think this is considered poetry. Well, not well written poetry anyways.
Where is the thought provoking ideas?
It seems as if you've just listed what you don't want... But why? Why don't you want the pot, why not the meth?
Maybe explain what's inside your head and give the reasons for you not wanting...
Your punctuation needs fixing as well.
Just my opinion. Doesn't mean a damn thing I understand... But Depending on how you take it, this will help you improve.
Where is the thought provoking ideas?
It seems as if you've just listed what you don't want... But why? Why don't you want the pot, why not the meth?
Maybe explain what's inside your head and give the reasons for you not wanting...
Your punctuation needs fixing as well.
Just my opinion. Doesn't mean a damn thing I understand... But Depending on how you take it, this will help you improve.
19th Oct 2012 00:52am
