If you really knew

One can only take so much from this miserable life
As I stare at my reflection in the knife that was my only friend all these years
The cuts of pain brought relief to my aching heart
The only love i recieved, was from this cold knife piercing my skin over and over again
This world has no use for a worthless creature like me
Noone wants love a miserable, misunderstood girl that could never be helped
Someone who cares too much
Someone who loves too hard
Only to be cruely shattered into nothingness
But I was already nothing
So what comes after that?
I bit back on my anger, My feelings never shown
Hidden behind a mask of indifference, Easily seen by anyone
But noone cared enough to remove it and see the real pain behind it
To look deep into my brown pools of despair.
Noone knows what its like to be defeated
Not like me
To know pain and suffering
Like me
To know the wounds in my skin arent could never compare to the ones embedded in my very soul
And so
I guess this is the end
The moon casts a beautiful light
Shinning so brightly even in this tragedy thats about to occur
But only the moon would see it
Only the light upon my withering body would care
Even if someone did love me
I have been alone anyway
I would have felt so lonely even if anyone was right beside me
Because noone understands
If you reaally knew me..
You might have understood
But i doubt anyone could feel what rages in my heart
Dont cry for me
Dont be sad for me
Ive been miserable all this time
What good would shedding any tears be now?
I thank you for caring
Well, atleast wanting to
But its too late now
It wouldnt make a difference anyhow
My heart is too deprived from love to go on any longger
Uve been chained to my despair for so long
I just want to be free
Released from myself
Please..
Please let me go
i cant take your pain with me
Its too much to bare
I cared for so many but it was never shared
Not one tear was wiped from my eyes
Not one hug
Not one hand
Was given to me, to comfort me
Even if i cried for help
Noone would have answered
Noone would listen
Noone would help me
The cutting, The burning
it was never enough
I know you hate me
Who doesnt
My life was all a life
A waste of breath that was given to me
All smoke and mirrors
I wont be apart of this act any longer
I say goodbye to chained walls
Goodbye to a never ending misery
And hello to a glorious freedom
Their is nothing for me here
Noone to love
Noone to share my heart with
Maybe they are where im heading
One can only hope
I stare 6 feet from my demise
I know that you would of wanted me to die
Because lets face it
Everyone was heartless to me
I finally realise that now
As i edge closer
Standing on the edge of the cliff, knife in hand
I close my eyes to  imagine a better world than this one
A sigh escapes me as the wind caresses my face
Like an urge to go on
And so i say
goodbye