a Chemical Suicide

I blew a bullet through my brain again.
A raw gaping wound,
now pulsating with inflamed vigour.
Tearing to reveal my innards,
like the blade used to seperate my skin.

Euphoric Numb.
You cut deeper.

Behind every mirror lies a bitter truth,
the gal of experience has come and gone.
time beyond time
line after line
again.

Now my knees are turning purple,
face is shifting shape.
Porcelain skin has been jaded,
senses are tainted,
vision is fading.

You used to make me feel like a Queen,
now I wear a crown of shit.
You used to take the pain away,
but now you only make me hurt.
Tomorrow i'll be back for more.

The leash has turned into a noose
as slowly you entered to rip out my soul.
No semblance of feeling,
I'm changing into gray.
Hands tied into the void.

Seeking thrills deep into the night,
within this phletora of chaos.
broken thoughts
surrounded by empty chairs.
You never stay. You never care.

Gunmetal on my tongue
self loathe engineered to perfection.
Running out of breath with you
becoming the cliche,
Paranoid schizophrenic.

I long for maternal comfort
ingnorance and bliss.
Floating in amniotic contentment,
mind still whole and nerves untouched.
In a world where you dont exist


Fuck you.