deepundergroundpoetry.com
I Woke in the Dark and Came to Find You
Awake in the far away
morning origami enfolds
sun into nested wreaths,
flights of light lift lids of urn jars
love’s black box records more than bones
Will the strangers who fuck in rearranged spaces
handrail the walls, fingerprint the window hinges
left slightly open to stained absence of passion, lived?
Sea susurration weaves through curtains,
our shingle breaths wrote a beach
where the tides never reach
Slept my way back to
the music of our rains
and broken landscapes
morning origami enfolds
sun into nested wreaths,
flights of light lift lids of urn jars
love’s black box records more than bones
Will the strangers who fuck in rearranged spaces
handrail the walls, fingerprint the window hinges
left slightly open to stained absence of passion, lived?
Sea susurration weaves through curtains,
our shingle breaths wrote a beach
where the tides never reach
Slept my way back to
the music of our rains
and broken landscapes
Published 13th Apr 2025
Author's Note
"The way the light was / The salt of our skin and the smell of the ocean." Tindersticks
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 8
reads 111
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
13th Apr 2025 11:11pm
Few here are actually "poetic". You are. I can sense the thought of crafting an actual poem going on here.
On a writing site, we are what we post. That's our identity. You're tall as hell.
On a writing site, we are what we post. That's our identity. You're tall as hell.
14th Apr 2025 8:42pm
Many thanks Mark. In my real world of jobs, bars and sport, the poetry is fairly clandestine. Prefer it that way.
14th Apr 2025 7:41pm
Dear R,
The heaviness of trying to retrieve lost love is so prevalent in this piece for me. The idea of walking through night dreams and what we encounter along the way to get back that love…this makes my heart skip another beat and my breath catch. The subject will never be easy but the writing is beautifully poetic. H🌷
The heaviness of trying to retrieve lost love is so prevalent in this piece for me. The idea of walking through night dreams and what we encounter along the way to get back that love…this makes my heart skip another beat and my breath catch. The subject will never be easy but the writing is beautifully poetic. H🌷
14th Apr 2025 8:44pm
You feel it H. Life is merely a metronome, pulsing rhythms of love & death and the heart can be a lonely hunter. Diolch. Rob
Beautiful haunting images; flow is just right,
“Sea susurration weaves through curtains,
our shingle breaths wrote a beach
where the tides never reach”
I don’t know what this sounds like in your accent but the Australian one really hits the “S” sound in here and is has the onomatopoeia quality of tide water on rocks
Marvellously crafted,
“Slept my way back to
the music of our rains
and broken landscapes“
Dynamite close
Thanks for the read
“Sea susurration weaves through curtains,
our shingle breaths wrote a beach
where the tides never reach”
I don’t know what this sounds like in your accent but the Australian one really hits the “S” sound in here and is has the onomatopoeia quality of tide water on rocks
Marvellously crafted,
“Slept my way back to
the music of our rains
and broken landscapes“
Dynamite close
Thanks for the read
17th Apr 2025 11:17am
Many thanks Tod. Initially, I would just just chop up pieces of fiction / non fiction and, if nothing else, DU has helped me learn the poetic nuances and imagery.
26th Apr 2025 11:28am
Agree with Styxian. You have some creative and unorthodox combinations which are rare.
26th Apr 2025 12:07pm
