A Plastic Spoon for Matilda

11:58 AM
 
I’m getting hungry
The day is already dragging
As you may or may not know from my last write titled "Early Morning Blues"
I open my large cooler
I pull out my jar of crunchy peanut butter and a ziplock bag of raisins and an assortment of nuts
I was looking forward to mixing the two together
But to my dismay, I forgot my spoon
 
SHIT!
 
Now I must take a walk to the cafeteria
I entered the cafeteria for the 1st time in over 5 years
Nothing has changed
I noticed immediately the smell of multiple foods cooking
The stench was nauseating  
All the people behind the counters look new
I didn't recognize any of their faces
Maybe a new company now cooks and prepares the food
Who knows
It won't matter because I will NEVER eat cafeteria food
I came in here for a plastic spoon and that was it
I’m looking around
I see nothing
What I do see are the eyes behind the counter staring me down
Like I was going to rob them of their eggs or some shit
Calm down chump, nothing to worry about
There, tucked on the side of one of the counters was the plastic cutlery
In order to get a spoon, fork or knife, there in these plastic dispencers
Push down the lever and voila, a utensil pops out
Well I did that to get a single spoon
And what a flimsy, crappy spoon this was
By me stirring my peanut butter, this spoon may snap in two
As I grab the spoon and begin walking out, this larger then life woman ( I believe that’s what she was) was yelling at me
 
“EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME!!”
 
I turn around as she's trying to walk faster towards me
She was hideous
Disheveled, sloppy, her face looked abused and worn out
Zits & facial hair
Someone you DON’T want cooking your food!
Her tiny name tag on her gigantic chest said her name was Matilda
She says, “You must pay for that spoon”
I said, “Pay for this spoon, why?”
“Well people that don’t buy any food here must pay to take any utensil, paper cups or napkins”

I said, “Well that’s ridiculous!” “What is the going rate for this one crappy spoon?”
She says, “1 dollar with tax”
I said, “WHAT!”
“A buck for this flimsy, plastic spoon?”
She began to get agitated
 
I now see another worker coming towards us
“What’s the issue?”, he says
His name tag said his name was Carl
I said, "Well Carl, I’m being charged a dollar, for something that shouldn’t be"
"Plus, I don’t see any signs in this cafeteria that tells the customer how much these plastic utensils go for”[/i]
The guy gave the same bullshit spiel to me like Matilda just did  
The only difference was this guy was a little more level headed  
He said to me, “Ok, ok sir, you can have this spoon for free this one-time”
I said, “Great!” "That's more like it"
I told Carl, when I’m finished using the spoon for my peanut butter, I’ll personally bring it back to Matilda, so she can lick the spoon clean for the next person!
They didn’t like that
But before they can say anything else, I left
What a motherfucking shit show that was
Over one measly plastic spoon
I will totally remember from now on to bring a goddamn spoon from home