deepundergroundpoetry.com
on the first train home
I was reading a dead man`s newspaper
through the ink I read his spirit walking highways lost
life lines carving into the space of my warm palms
these words as eyes were tundras formed
from emptiness escaping
as his heart sank deeper against my skin
mummified bog bodies
were quoting
their whispered poetry
swallowed intricate
carbon mouths
reminded me of hope
all things human
intertwined within
from this space
sunken suns started to sing
in lethargic light
this train has never left me since
copyrights © owned by Rianne 2025
all rights reserved
through the ink I read his spirit walking highways lost
life lines carving into the space of my warm palms
these words as eyes were tundras formed
from emptiness escaping
as his heart sank deeper against my skin
mummified bog bodies
were quoting
their whispered poetry
swallowed intricate
carbon mouths
reminded me of hope
all things human
intertwined within
from this space
sunken suns started to sing
in lethargic light
this train has never left me since
copyrights © owned by Rianne 2025
all rights reserved
Published 22nd Feb 2025
Author's Note
this is a revised older poem, it can be found in its original form on PoutrySoup where my user name was Kornelia Birch.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 4
comments 12
reads 82
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
22nd Feb 2025 2:44pm
dark, mysterious eerie. I like this piece a lot. Great atmosphere Rianne.
Thank you for the visit and RL add, highly appreciated! All the best, Blessings
Rianne
Rianne
22nd Feb 2025 4:16pm
Wow, that's hauntingly beautiful. The image of reading a dead man's newspaper and feeling his spirit through the ink is so vivid. And "mummified bog bodies were quoting their whispered poetry" - that's just incredibly evocative. It really captures that sense of being connected to something much larger and older than yourself, especially in that liminal space of travel. That last line, "this train has never left me since," really seals the feeling of a profound, lasting experience.
22nd Feb 2025 5:54pm
You have an astute way of observing keenly the smaller details to this poem. The liminal spaces you say, indeed so. Things older and larger than the self or ourselves, Thank you for the feedback and RL list greetings and blessings,
Rianne
Rianne
Yes such a visual n spiritual n haunting piece R .. it shows of your minimalist talents .. your deeper spiritual connect you reach out to one in the narrative .. even the dead .. your feeling all delicate heart .. your mystical touch in bringing a Hope & love amidst all the deaths n deads n hellish such surreally frightening space too as in these stanzas .. that flowers n sings from within as sun n love..n liberation .. a light xx
.. your touch of poetry to our souls is a blessing dear R .. love ever sx
.. your touch of poetry to our souls is a blessing dear R .. love ever sx
22nd Feb 2025 6:06pm
Thank you dear Uma for looking into each layer of depth that arises from this poem. Your feedbacks are precious components made from insights poetically and spiritually. Sometimes minimalism can be suitable. My older poems were often shorter, and most of these much much darker, busy with revising some of these, lots of love and bright blessings,
Rianne
Rianne
22nd Feb 2025 6:20pm
22nd Feb 2025 6:26pm
Yesterday 4:03am
Yesterday 2:28pm
Yesterday 7:44am
Great analogy giving life to what is lifeless in the world. The interpretation of semantics in this is 1st person, from 3rd person lifelessness. What is often perceived as dispirited in society is recollected in those of whom seek answers, creating the dichotomy and divide that is relationships, and thus, divine understanding. At least, that's what I gather from the first few lines. It's depressing to know the chain of communication in the world offers no "poetic justice." Anyway, good write. Thanks for sharing!
Yesterday 11:22am
Thank you C for this great insightful feedback. While reading I felt that you have managed to find the more subtle aspects of this poem. You have managed to see the different levels and therefore I am grateful also for the rl add. Greetings and blessings,
Rianne
Rianne
