New Mask

Tired of hearing this shit,  
all the noises in my head.  
All the arguments, all the lies,  
finding your hidden messages    
from extended family, looking to give you pity    
for those made up stories.  
   
Your shadow has been casting much too much    
shade at me lately.  
The behind the backs,  
the "its me -not you,"  
new slutty friends handing out i owe you's.  
All the quietness, things left unsaid,    
the few hours of sleep a week that keep me feeling dead.  
   
I'm hungry, but not because I haven't eaten much these past few days.  
I just want things to be better,    
to not feel cheap.  
Now you pride yourself on looks,    
not who you were.  
   
 A beautiful woman on the outside, but a dark inside only gets you so far.  
I admit,  
I'm no saint, I have my issues,  
 hard to understand at times.  
But that's not a reason to sneak out and commit    
to these emotional crimes.  
   
I don't recognize the person under this new mask.  
You love to argue now, sweetness gone bitter.  
You've turned cold, a dark new shiver.  
Every word feels calculated,    
a stranger wearing a new face.  
   
The life we built slipped away,  
replaced by secrets, deception, and tracks you thought i wouldn't follow.  
I'm tired of chasing shadows and reservations,while i work through the night.  
   
We reap what we sow.  
Maybe it's time to let go, stop planting all the seeds.  
I wanted to fight for us, but now i see,  
I can't win this war so I guess you can be free.