Dear Sarah

Dear Sarah,
 
Every time I think I want to get over you, I stop and stare at the magnificent masterpiece you are. Every time your smile lights up a room and your jokes crack a laugh or two and how you inspire everyone around you with your words of wisdom.
 
How despite your darkness, you exude confidence and a sweet aura. How you're just like any other girl who gushes over fanfiction and cute boys, but your essence is not the same. You are as rare as Mew, childlike yet free spirited deep thinker. Unique yet humble. Not trying to be different yet naturally is different. Empathetic yet knows when to cut ties. Nonjudgmental yet the manipulative mastermind. Always ten steps ahead of the crowd, your biggest weapon- the truth.
 
I love your deep need for love that holds the entire world. I love your laugh and your giggle. I love your endless joy and your ability to be sad or jealous or whatever you feel and trusting that.
 
I loved you even at your worst, when your rage was coming undone after Josh left you. How you wanted to maintain control by texting obsessively knowing he wouldn't respond but getting all the anger with that one person who you knew would forgive you unconditionally. You wanted to hurt and hurt and hurt. You knew you had to get out the rage with someone. And he knew in a way no one else did.
 
And you knew you had to consent to using other men to soothe the pain, to soothe the fact that Josh meant something to you.
 
You're not crazy in that Lifetime movie way, you are a strong woman, and you know it.
 
And it's all thanks to you that I'm safe.
 
Sincerely,
 
Me