Try and impress me, Shania!

(Response song)!
Response to the song "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain
THAT WON'T EVER STOP PLAYING!!!

------------

BACK AT YA BITCH...

Ow...
Uh-huh, yeah, yeah...
anal rape's not pleasant!
You don't impress me much!

I've known plenty of ugly chicks...
who thought they were something...
you think you're special?
I'd rather eat out Lizzo...

Fuck you Shania Twit...Twain...
You hope for Brad Pitt...
You couldn't get Sheldon Cooper...
...even if you gave him a train!

Dress like a cowgirl...
cowboys want cowboys!
So does Sheldon!!!  ANAL ALERT!
Brokeback Mountain misery!

Kathy Bates included!
Break a leg sweetie-poo!
Oh-oh, you think you're special
Not...not...crotch rot!

You're no Ed Sheeran...
...you'd have to strap one on...
BUTT then you'd identify...
as John Wayne!  Cool beans (fart).

You don't impress me AT ALL!
FEEL MY PUSSY...IT'S WET!!!
But not for you...I bet yours is dry!
Are you crying?

Think I'm mentally ill
and fucking verbally abusive?
Do you piss YOUR bed?  Think not!
You don't impress me today!

I have heard your song...
too many times in the bars...
...and some nimrod gets his hopes up...
cause you sang that stupid song!

You have money...leave it at that!
No one raped YOU from age 4.
Or whipped your ass with a belt?
Did they?  Survive that!  Impress me!

You know what keeps me warm at night?
NOT A MOTHER FUCKING THING!
Think I'm nutso?  You should have...
met my Momma!  She liked Elvis!

Even the Elvis impersonator...
got his dick sucked more than once...
left a bad taste in my mouth...
bet that's not on your resume!!!

But YOU think you are special!
Shania Twain and all!  Did something
happen to Eilleen Regina Edwards?
Your birthname!  Are you running?

That might impress me some!
You are boring me, now...
So I'll wrap this up and go poop!
Yeah...I'm full of shit!

How's that for being real, girl?
Does that impress you much?
You think YOU ARE special, Shania...
but you shit, too!!!  Dolly-wannabe!

You don't impress me much!
FEEL MY PUSSY!
FIST ME!  DO IT HARD!!!
TASTE MY JUICES!!!

Uh-huh, yeah, yeah
that would impress me!
Then we could talk about...
Eilleen Regina Edwards!

She might impress me!
Can she pretend outside of music?
Does she have...moves?
Take off those cowgirl jeans...

drop your panties!
Impress me much!  Impress my tits!
Impress me much!  Lick it!  Make me cum!
Strap on and pretend you're a stud!

Impress me 'til I cum...
THAT WOULD IMPRESS ME MUCH!