"something deeper"

   
   
   
    what if I told you- I'm just being- "nothingness" embodied- sustaining because of nature's wrath- surviving for survival's sake- another year with or without  a "birthday cake"....it makes no difference anyway....    
   
   brought here for existence's sake- more inclined to escape than to embrace- conditions- including one's own fate- everything between that and today....    
   
   something deeper.... every song I've ever heard- every word that's ever struck a nerve- the long game, I do not hunger for or thirst- no dire need to be first in a race signed off way before even my date of birth....    
   
 let's not mince words- I can't imagine how source genuinely works though by sight it seems absurd; all I want is the music to stop- because the chairs are all reserved for whomever wants them worse.... not me....    
   
 how much math I've got left- because the science did its worst- nevermind so much the history- and "english" - I'm tired of speaking-hence me writing out these words....    
   
"something deeper"- perhaps words can't convey- if only I could get by with having little to nothing to say....