Excuses

How do I lie for you?
Let me count the ways...
I fell down the stairs.
I ran into the door.

I fell UP the stairs.
I'm really clumsy!
A kid at the park pushed me.
I tripped on my own feet.

I got jumped on the way to the store.
I was playing with the stove.
I jumped off a swing.
I crashed my bike.

A kid at the park punched me.
I built a ramp.
I slipped on the wet bathroom floor.
I just lost my balance.

Someone threw a rock.
My arm was swollen when I woke up.
It was icy.  It was muddy.
The dog did it.  He tripped me.